The 100 point X-Phile Purity Control test

If you link to the Purity Control test why not use the above button to point the way?

version 1.1 by purplerhino@pa.freei.net - copy and distribute freely

This tests assumes that you have seen at least an episode or two of THE X-FILES. You are assumed to know OF the show at the very least. It is mearly a test for amusement purposes to see if you are a casual watcher,or a true obsessive.

Check all boxes for which your answer is "YES"

Have you ever...

  1. watched theX-Files?
  2. tried to get others to watch the X-Files?
  3. considered joining the FBI after watching the X-Files?
  4. checked a port-a-potty for flukemen?
  5. answered a phone using your last name?
  6. played any version of X-Files drinking game?
  7. thought Agent Fox Mulder was sexy?
  8. thought agent Dana Scully was sexy?
  9. thought A.D. Walter Skinner wass exy?
  10. thought Alex Krychek was sexy?
  11. thought Cancerman was sexy?
  12. noticed you know all the names of the episodes?
  13. looked to see if "The TruthIs Out There" was changed in the opening sequence?
  14. wanted to slap Mulder for losing his gun - again?
  15. wanted Scully to wear a helmet to prevent getting hit in the left temple so much?
  16. realized you know both agent's birthdays better than your relatives?
  17. found yourself thinking a trenchcoat might be a good fashion statement this fall?
  18. actually scanned the skies for UFOs?
  19. looked in on alt.tv.x-files?
  20. posted to alt.tv.x-files?
  21. bought X-Files Merchendise?
  22. subscribed to an X-Files Mailing List?
  23. read X-Files Fan Fiction?
  24. written X-Files Fan Fiction?
  25. read any NC-17 X-Files Fan Fiction?
  26. written any NC-17 X-Files Fan Fiction?
  27. thought to yourself that Mulder and Scully should have a sexual relationship?
  28. thought to yourself that Mulder and Skinner should have a sexual relationship?
  29. thought to yourself that Scully and Skinner should have a sexual relationship?
  30. thought to yourself that Mulder, Scully, Skinner, Cancerman and Queequeg the dog should all have a sexual relationship?
  31. written a letter to FOX about the show (complaints or compliments don't matter)?
  32. noticed your wallpaper is all X-Files .GIFs?
  33. noticed all your .WAV files are from The X-Files?
  34. considered taking a vacation in Vancouver just to check out places they may have filmed The X-Files?
  35. known more about any of the actors (or actresses) lives than you do about your family?
  36. found yourself humming the theme music under your breath?
  37. called your dog by the name Blue (or Queequeg)?
  38. tried making a screwdriver out of orange juice concentrait spooned into a vodka bottle?
  39. decided to only drink Iced Tea (Or Root Beer) after seeing "Tooms"?
  40. read articles or books about the paranormal?
  41. subscribed to any Conspiracy newsgroups or mailing lists?
  42. taped an X on your window?
  43. refused to eat chicken after seeing "Our Town"?
  44. refused to eat asparagus afterseeing "Firewalker"?
  45. caught yourself quoting a Mulderism or a Scullyism?
  46. been fascinated by women named BJ?
  47. want to know the scientific nature of "the Whammy"?
  48. slept on your couch (after all Mulder doesn't need a bed)?
  49. opened your own X-Files Web Page?
  50. visited an X-Files web page?
  51. read an X-Files paperback?
  52. bought the X-Files soundtrack and promptly memorized all the songs?
  53. avoided the bathroom because Chris Carter seems to have a morbid fascination with that room?
  54. refered to your S.O. as Mulder or Scully?
  55. considered redoing your basement as an office?
  56. wondered what Autoerotic Asphixiation really meant?
  57. wanted to drive a Ford Taurus?
  58. corrected anyone who said "little green men"?
  59. checked the back of your neck (or behind your ear) for implant scars?
  60. considered subscribing to "The Adult Video News" or "Celebrity Skin"?
  61. panicked at the sight of a lightening bug?
  62. --a worm?
  63. thought your sibling might bean alien clone?
  64. shivered when viewing a gargoyle?
  65. avoided walking in someone's shadow?
  66. gotten a glazed look when anyone mentions the color Cerulean?
  67. ever tried to fit "exsanguination"into everyday conversation?
  68. ever had a dream about any of the actors from the X-Files?
  69. decided to read Moby Dick after watching Quagmire?
  70. checked your dog's neck for prehistoric worms that live under the skin?
  71. scanned magazines for any mention of the X-Files?
  72. gotten any of the show's in jokes?
  73. understood ALL the in jokes in "Jose Chung's From Outer Space"?
  74. thought Mulder or Scully looked wonderful in reading glasses?
  75. freaked out at the sight of a bee?
  76. insisted on renting apartment 42, 1013 or 1121?
  77. used X-Files garnered facts in regular conversation?
  78. bought a gold cross, or dyed yourhair red, or gotten a Knicks T-Shirt?
  79. stared when you found out a woman'sname was Samantha?
  80. thought of using the names Fox,William, Dana, Katherine, Missy, Margaret, Walter, Alex, Frohike, David,Gillian, Mitch, Nicolas, etc. for your children?
  81. considered getting a tatoo of a snake swallowing it's tail?
  82. started an X-Files quote (e.g.'Lots of files...') to see if anyone in the vicinity could finish it?
  83. planned your outings so they don't conflict with X-Files air times?
  84. thrown an X-Files themed party?
  85. searched for a copy of the 'I Want to Believe' poster?
  86. bought a bag of sunflower seeds just to be like Mulder?
  87. just sat there, 'sittin and thinkin'?
  88. freaked out at a nose bleed?
  89. turned off lights because it wasj ust too bright to be like The X-Files?
  90. had your parents spy on the PTA meetings so make sure there wasn't any devil worshipping going on?
  91. flinched at the sight of twin girls?
  92. looked at an unidentified liquid and thought 'monkey pee'?
  93. jumped onto a moving train?
  94. bought a cellular phone just tobe like your favorite FBI agents?
  95. taped episodes to keep in your own video archive so you will never be without The X-Files?
  96. thought a polimerized human head would make a really neat paper weight?
  97. wanted to put on something black and sexy to do some funky poaching?
  98. actually tried to avoid someone because they were dressed all in black?
  99. become convinced that Barney (The most hienious and evil force in the world) is part of a conspiracy by ourgovernment to control the minds of our children?
  100. understood every XF referenceon this test?
That's it. You can use your score to compare relative X Obsessiveness with friends. To calculate your Purity Control score, count up your YES answers (Checked boxes) or press the button below if you can see it.
 

The more Currupt you are, the more obsessed you are. The more Pure the less you watch the show.

Score calculation and relative purity/curruptiveness


0-15% currupt- Ok, so have you ever actually watched The X-Files?
16-30% currupt- So you've seen the show, just not enough. Watch more often. :)
31-45% currupt- You watch the show but can still seperate reality from fantasy. You rate as your average well balanced Fan, but not a true X-Phile Obsessive.
46-60% currupt- You are a true Phile but can still relate to Real Life.We need to work on blurring the lines a bit more...
61-85% currupt- Not only should you work for the FBI, but there isa basement office just waiting for you. You can relate almost everything in your life to The X-Files can't you?
86-100% currupt - You have gone beyond Obsession into Fanaticism. Please don't Stalk the stars, security frowns on it. Reality has no meaning to you. You have probably considered opening a temple to Chris Carter haven't you? (Ahem... don't worry, you are not alone. I rate here myself...)

You are the  pieceof merchandise to be passed through Purity Control. Thank you for yourcooperation. Your medical files will be added to those previously tested.

Backto The X-Files Romantic FanFic Page

Any comments, questions, or even additional questions are appreciated.
purplerhino@pa.freei.net Please do not e-mail armory.com. They are not associated with this test.

This Purity Control Test is a Purple Rhino Production.

Purple Rhino Logo designed by Kelly Phillips.


 

 

A HUGE thank you to Rob, Lena, Raphaelle and Nancy for providing someof these questions.

The cgi bin your responses come from is maintained at www.armory.com.

The counter was provided by